If you know of any funny jokes, quotes, one-liners,

or wedding/marriage related quips, then send them

to us via e mail and we'll post them here.

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable

or

Get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Why yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady placed an ad in the local classifieds:

"Husband Wanted"

Over the next week she received hundreds of letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is finished.

A little boy aksed his father:

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied: "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

There once was a woman who said,

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married...

by then it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of immagination

over intelligence.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel?"

Second guy says, "Lucky for you, mine's still alive."

A Wife's Prayer

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom, to understand my man. To love and forgive him,

for patience for his moods, because Lord, If I pray for Strength, I'll

just beat him to death.

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.

A blind man comes along and stands at the bus stop. When the bus finally arrives

they find it overloaded and only the wife and children can fit onto the bus.

SO the husband and blind man decide to walk. After a while the husband gets

irritated by the tapping of the blind man's stick on the sidewalk and says to him:

"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?? That tapping sound is

driving me nuts!"

The blind man then replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick we'd be

riding the bus right now, so shut up!"